Mothers Day is just around the corner and since it’s my 3rd one and I have two Girlies, I intend to take full advantage. Note that none of this post is sponsored, I’m just sharing my fave things. Listen up Husband!
I want to wake up in my favourite Egyptian Cotton bedsheets, minus the poo stains, sick patches and wee puddles. These ones are expensive but totally worth it. The annoying thing is that they get softer the longer you have them…we often debate how many bodily fluids are acceptable before you throw them away and start again.
I expect to be brought burning hot tea in my beautiful Mummy mug. And I want to drink it while it’s hot. With some hot cross buns. And maybe a chocolate digestive. Or two.
After breakfast I would like to put on my fat cover ups, I’m loving this Alexander McQueen one which I’ll wear with my temporary fat jeans. I’ll obviously wear my sexiest fat pants, courtesy of Spanx, ready to fall asleep in later.
After a little play, maybe doing some jigsaw puzzles, I might have a little nap. Then I want us all to mark our heights on this amazing measuring chart. It’s an alternative to doing it on a wall and can move house with you, which I love.
We’re probably past midday now and allowed a glass of prosecco so I’ll have the £5 one I’ve discovered in Lidl or if Husband is feeling flush then I’ll have this pretty Pink one from Waitrose. My own Mum will stop by for a glass I’m sure!
After a nice M&S picnic lunch, I’ll be ready to receive my presents. This suede Rhino head (I’ll name him Rambo) will look great in amongst my bookcase.
And since every new baby demands a ludicrously expensive handbag, I’ll be acting delighted and surprised as I’m handed this!
Finally my hand will be adorned with this beautiful ring while they all tell me how much they love me and that the house just wouldn’t work without me.
In the afternoon the Girls will sleep for two hours at exactly the same time whilst I laze (glamorously of course) on the sofa maybe watching one of the films I just haven’t got to recently…Bad Mom seems like a good choice.
After a surprise evening meal at a local pub where my daughters are perfectly behaved and everyone comments on how wonderfully brought up they must be, I’m told that next day I’m going to a spa with my best mum friends! A day here at Champneys Forest Mere will I’m sure leave me feeling calm and serene, ready to accept another week of Girly no1 covering herself in food and drink and Girly no2 crying for 2 hours every day before bed.
Bedtime swiftly follows taking only ten minutes because no one wriggles, runs away naked or cries so I’m on the sofa by 7.30 ready to tuck into the huge bar of chocolate waiting for me. Obviously it’s ok for me to eat since I didn’t buy it myself. Healthy eating maintained!
As much as this is my dream day, we all know it’s far more likely that I’ll wake up in my poo-stained, ripped sheets with one baby being sick down my cleavage while my toddler jumps on my head. We’ll eat stale hot cross buns with cold tea in our PJ’s and then have a glass of flat prosecco that was opened 3 days ago. No one will sleep, during the day or at night. My only present will be a bit of card with some tissue paper stuck to it that no1 made at nursery. Girly no2 will produce 10 pooey nappies and it will rain all day so we won’t be able to leave the house. We won’t bother going out for dinner because the baby won’t stop crying and Girly no1 won’t eat anything on the menu, so we’ll eat ready meals from Tescos in front of CBeebies. It will be perfect and I’ll love every second.
Happy Mothers Day Super Mamas! Enjoy your day as much as I will!